lesson3
使用暴力
Lesson Three The Use of Force
他们是我的新病人，我所知道的只有名字，奥尔逊。
They were new patients to me， all I had was the name， Olson.
请您尽快赶来，我女儿病得很重。
“Please come down as soon as you can， my daughter is very sick.”
当我到达时，孩子的母亲迎接了我，这是一位看上去惊恐不安的妇人，衣着整洁却一脸忧伤的神色她只是说，这位就是医生吗？
When I arrived I was met by the mother， a big startled looking woman， very clean and apologetic who merely said， Is this the doctor？
然后带我进了屋。
And let me in.
在后面，她又说到，请你一定要原谅我们，医生，我们让她呆在厨房里，那儿暖和，这里有时很潮湿。
In the back， she added. You must excuse us， doctor， we have her in the kitchen where it is warm. It is very damp here sometimes.
在厨房的桌子旁边，这个孩子穿得严严实实的，坐在她父亲的腿上。
The child was fully dressed and sitting on here father's lap near the kitchen table.
他父亲试图站起来，但我向他示意不用麻烦，然后我脱下外套开始检查。
He tried to get up， but I motioned for him not to bother， took off my overcoat and started to look things over.
我能够觉察出他们都很紧张，而且用怀疑的眼光上下打量着我。
I could see that they were all very nervous， eyeing me up and down distrustfully.
在这种情形下，他们通常不会提供太多的情况，而是等着我告诉他们病情，这就是为什么他们会在我身上花3美元。
As often， in such cases， they weren't telling me more than they had to， it was up to me to tell them； that's why they were spending three dollars on me.
这个孩子用她那冷漠而镇定的目光目不转睛地盯着我，脸上没有任何表情。
The child was fairly eating me up with her cold， steady eyes， and no expression on her face whatever.
她纹丝不动，内心似乎很平静。这是一个非常惹人喜爱的小东西，外表长得象小牛一样结实。
She did not move and seemed， inwardly， quiet； an unusually attractive little thing， and as strong as a heifer in appearance.
但是她的脸发红，而且呼吸急促，我知道她在发着高烧。
But her face was flushed， she was breathing rapidly， and I realized that she had a high fever.
她长着一头漂亮浓密的金发，就像刊登在广告插页上和周日报纸图片版上的那些孩子一样。
She had magnificent blonde hair， in profusion. One of those picture children often reproduced in advertising leaflets and the photogravure sections of the Sunday papers.
她发烧已经3天了，她父亲开口说，我们不知道是什么原因。
She's had a fever for three days， began the father and we don't know what it comes from.
我太太给她吃了一些药，你知道，大家都是这样做的，可这些药根本不管用，而且，附近有很多人都生了病，所以我们想请您最好给她检查一下，然后告诉我们是怎么一回事。
My wife has given her things， you know， like people do， but it don't do no good. And there's been a lot of sickness around. So we tho't you'd better look her over and tell us what is the matter.
像医生们经常做的那样，我问了个问题，想以此来猜测一下病症所在。
As doctors often do I took a trial shot at it as a point of departure. Has she had a sore throat？
父母两人一起回答说，没有……没有，她说她的嗓子不疼。
Both parents answered me together， No…No， she says her throat don't hurt her.
你嗓子疼吗？母亲又问了一下孩子。
Does your throat hurt you？ Added the mother to the child.
女孩的表情没有任何变化，而她的目光却一直没有从我的脸上移开。
But the little girl's expression didn't change nor did she move her eyes from my face.
你看过她的嗓子了吗？
Have you looked？
我想看，孩子的母亲说，但看不见。
I tried to， said the mother but II couldn't see.
这个月碰巧她上学的那个学校已经有好几例白喉病。虽然到目前为止没有人说出这件事，但很显然，我们心里都想到了。
As it happens we had been having a number of cases of diphtheria in the school to which this child went during that month and we were all， quite apparently， thinking of that， though no one had as yet spoken of the thing.
好了，我说，我们先看看嗓子吧。
Well， I said， suppose we take a look at the throat first.
我以医生特有的职业方式微笑着，叫着孩子的名字。我说，来吧，玛蒂尔达，张开嘴，让我看一下你的嗓子。
I smiled in my best professional manner and asking for the child's first name I said， come on， Mathilda， open your mouth and let's take a look at your throat.
没有任何反应。
Nothing doing.
哦，来吧，我劝道，张大你的嘴，让我看看。看，我说着把两只手伸开，我的手里没有东西，张大嘴，让我看看。
Aw， come on， I coaxed， just open your mouth wide and let me take a look. Look， I said opening both hands wide， I haven't anything in my hands. Just open up and let me see.
他是一个多好的人呀，她的母亲插话道。你看他对你多好呀，来，听话。他不会伤害你的。
Such a nice man， put in the mother. Look how kind he is to you. Come on， do what he tells you to. He won't hurt you.
听到这里我狠狠地咬了咬牙，要是他们没用“伤害”这个词，我也许能做点什么，但是我没有着急或恼怒，而是慢声细语地说着话，一边再次靠近这个孩子。
As that I ground my teeth in disgust. If only they wouldn't use the word “hurt” I might be able to get somewhere. But I did not allow myself to be hurried or disturbed but speaking quietly and slowly I approached the child again.
我刚将椅子拉近一点，突然，她像猫一样双手本能地朝我的两眼抓去，我差一点被她抓到。
As I moved my chair a little nearer suddenly with one catlike movement both her hands clawed instinctively for my eyes and she almost reached them too.
好在她只是打掉了我的眼镜，虽然眼镜没有碎，但已落到了离我几英尺远的厨房地板上。
In fact she knocked my glasses flying and they fell， though unbroken， several feet away from me on the kitchen floor.
父母两人都非常尴尬，充满歉意，你这个坏孩子，母亲一边说，一边抓着她，并摇晃着她的一只手，你看看你做的事。这么一个好人。
Both the mother and father almost turned themselves inside out in embarrassment and apology. You bad girl， said the mother， taking her and shaking here by one arm. Look what you've done. The nice man…
看在上帝的份上，我打断了她的话，请不要再在她面前说我是一个好人。
For heaven's sake， I broke in. Don't call me a nice man to her.
我来是看看她的嗓子，也许她患了白喉，而且很可能会死于这种病。
I'm here to look at her throat on the chance that she might have diphtheria and possibly die of it.
但这一切她都不在乎，看这儿，我对女孩说，我们想看看你的嗓子，你不小了，应该明白我说的话，你是自己张开嘴呢，还是我们帮你张开？
But that's nothing to her. Look here， I said to the child， we're going to look at your throat. You're old enough to understand what I'm saying. Will you open it now by yourself or shall we have to open it for you？
她仍然一动不动，甚至连表情都没有任何变化。
Not a move. Even her expression hadn't changed.
但是她的呼吸却越来越急促。
Her breaths， however， were coming faster and faster.
接着一场战役开始了，我不得不这样做。
Then the battle began. I had to do it.
由于她的自我保护，我必须检查一下她的嗓子。
I had to have a throat culture for her own protection.
可是我首先告诉家长这完全取决于他们。
But first I told the parents that it was entirely up to them.
我说明了其危险性，但同时提出只要他们承担责任我就不会坚持做这次喉咙检查。
I explained the danger but said that I would not insist on a throat examination so long as they would take the responsibility.
如果你不按大夫说的去做，你就要去医院了，母亲严厉地警告她。
If you don't do what the doctor says you'll have to go to the hospital， the mother admonished her severely.
是吗？我只好暗自笑了笑。毕竟我已经喜欢上了这个野蛮的小东西，但却看不起这对父母。
Oh yeah？ I had to smile to myself. After all， I had already fallen in love with the savage brat， the parents were contemptible to me.
在接下来的“战斗”中他们越来越难堪，被摧垮了，直至精疲力竭。而这个女孩由于恐惧，她对我的抗拒达到了惊人的地步。
In the ensuing struggle they grew more and more abject， crushed， exhausted while she surely rose to magnificent heights of insane fury of effort bred of her terror of me.
父亲尽了最大的努力，他块头很大，然而事实上他面对着的是他的女儿，由于对她的所作所为感到愧疚和担心伤到她，他每次在我几乎就要成功了的关键时刻放开了她，我真恨不得杀了他。
The father tried his best， and he was a big man but the fact that she was his daughter， his shame at her behavior and his dread of hurting her made him release her just at the critical times when I had almost achieved success， till I wanted to kill him.
可是，因为又担心她真会患上白喉，尽管他自己就快昏到了，他又告诉我继续，继续，而她的母亲在我们的身后走来走去，忧愁万分地抖着双手。
But his dread also that she might have diphtheria made him tell me to go on， go on though he himself was almost fainting， while the mother moved back and forth behind us raising and lowering her hands in an agony of apprehension.
把她放在你的大腿上，我命令道，抓住她的两个手腕。
Put her in front of you on your lap， I ordered， and hold both her wrists.
然而他刚一动手，女孩就尖叫了一声。
But as soon as he did the child let out a scream.
别这样，你会弄疼我的。
Don't， you're hurting me.
放开我的手，放手，我告诉你。
Let go of my hands. Let them go I tell you.
接着她发出可怕的歇斯底里的尖叫，住手！住手！你会弄死我的！
Then she shrieked terrifyingly， hysterically. Stop it！ Stop it！ You're killing me！
你觉得她受得了吗？医生！她母亲说。
Do you think she can stand it， doctor！ Said the mother.
你出去，丈夫对他的妻子说，你想让她死于白喉吗？
You get out， said the hu******************and to his wife. Do you want her to die of diphtheria？
来吧，抓住她，我说道。
Come on now， hold her， I said.
接着我用左手掰住女孩的头，并试图将木制的压舌板伸进她的嘴里。
Then I grasped the child's head with my left hand and tried to get the wooden tongue depressor between her teeth.
她紧咬着牙绝望地反抗着！
She fought， with clenched teeth， desperately！
而此时我也变得狂怒了——对一个孩子。
But now I also had grown furious-at a child.
我试图让自己不要发脾气，但却做不到，我知道怎样去检查她的嗓子。
I tried to hold myself down but I couldn't. I know how to expose a throat for inspection.
我尽了最大的努力。当我终于把木制的压舌板伸到最后一排牙齿的后面时，她张开了嘴，然而只是一瞬间，我还来不及看她又把嘴闭上了，没等我把它取出来，她的臼齿已经紧紧咬住了压舌板，并把压舌板咬成了碎片。
And I did my best. When finally I got the wooden spatula behind the last teeth and just the point of it into the mouth cavity， she opened up for an instant but before I could see anything she came down again and gripped the wooden blade between her molars. She reduces it to splinters before I could get it out again.
你不害臊吗？妈妈朝她大声训斥道。你在大夫面前这样不觉得害臊吗？
Aren't you ashamed， the mother yelled at her. Aren't you ashamed to act like that in front of the doctor？
给我拿一把平柄的勺子什么的，我对母亲说。
Get me a smooth-handled spoon of some sort， I told the mother.
我们还要接着做下去。
We're going through with this.
孩子的嘴已经流血了。
The child's mouth was already bleeding.
她的舌头破了，还在歇斯底里地大叫着。
Her tongue was cut and she was screaming in wild hysterical shrieks.
也许我应该停下来，过一个多小时再回来无疑这样会好一些。
Perhaps I should have desisted and come back in an hour or more. No doubt it would have been better.
但我已经看到至少两个孩子因为这种情况而被疏忽了，躺在床上死去，我感到我必须现在进行诊断，否则就再没有机会了。
But I have seen at least two children lying dead in bed of neglect in such cases， and feeling that I must get a diagnosis now or never I went at it again.
然而最糟糕的是，我也失去了理智，我本可以在盛怒之下将女孩的嘴扒开来享受其中的快乐，向她发起进攻真是一件乐事，我的脸也因此而发热。
But the worst of it was that I too had got beyond reason. I could have torn the child apart in my own fury and enjoyed it. It was a pleasure to attack her， my face was burning with it.
在这种时候，谁都会叮咛自己，无论这个可恶的小鬼做出任何愚蠢的举动，也要违背她的意愿来保护她。
The damned little brat must be protected against her own idiocy， one says to one's self at such times.
这样做也是为了保护其他孩子，同时这也是一种社会需要，事实也确是如此。
Others must be protected against her. It is a social necessity. And all these things are true.
然而由于释放体内能量的欲望而产生的一种盲目的无法控制的狂怒和一种成年人的羞耻感，使我一直坚持到最后。
But a blind fury，a feeling of adult shame， bred of a longing for muscular release are the operatives. One goes on to the end.
在最后失去理性的“战斗”中，我控制了女孩的脖子和下巴，我强行将沉重的银勺从她的牙后面伸到嗓子直到她作呕。
In the final unreasoning assault I overpowered the child's neck any jaws. I forced the heavy silver spoon back of her teeth and down her throat till she gagged.
果然，两个扁桃体上有着一层膜状物。她勇敢地反抗就是为了不让我发现她的这个秘密，她至少隐瞒了3天嗓子疼，并对父母撒谎，都是为了逃避这样一个结果。
And there it was – both tonsils covered with membrane. She had fought valiantly to keep me from knowing her secret. She had been hiding that sore throat for three days at least and lying to her parents in order to escape just such an outcome as this.
现在，她真的狂怒了，在这以前她一直处于守势，但是现在她开始进攻了。
Now truly she was furious. She had been on the defensive before but now she attacked， Tried to get off her father's lap and fly at me while tears of defeat blinded her eye.